Sheri & Tom

My little sis, Sheri, and her new husband, Tom, have been married nearly 5 months now but it's never too late for some cute wedding pics! They are living/working in Taiwan right now teaching english for the next year or so. Instead of going into specifics, just check out her blog! There are tons of gorgeous wedding photos and a little more info about their time in Taiwan. Can't believe they will be there till next summer at least! We can't wait to see them when they come home. Please leave a comment explaining to her and Tom that they need to attend graduate school in the midwest, preferably Indiana. We need family!!!!

Thanksgiving 2010

For the last 3 Thanksgiving holiday's we have had the same tradition. Since we have no family here and I don't want to spend all day cooking for 2 1/2 people, we go out! We don't just go anywhere, we go to the old Studabaker mansion for their Thanksgiving Feast.

It's soooo yummy and is a beautiful, festive setting. It's an all-you-can-eat with every holiday favorite. Last year, we had just found out about Donovan's impending arrival. The year before, Josie was a newborn. This year, we spent it with another couple in the ward who has a son 10 days older than Donny. Her name is also Emily and no, we did not plan our outfits, lol! (We were wearing nearly identical shirts and the same shoes) Sorry about all the variation in coloring. The lighting in there was super weird and I couldn't seem to get it right. Of course, I am too lazy to edit.

Josie loved sitting on all the fancy chairs and looking at the various Christmas trees. She never looks at the camera anymore. Bummer.......

I tried to get her to try all the Thanksgiving standards like turkey and sweet potatoes. She decided on some lighter options instead.

This little guy was happy as a clam and stayed awake the whole time! He looked like a little old man. Or a golfer. Or an old boxer from "Cinderella Man." Love it! Notice the sopping wet sweater. Teething much?

He really does love sitting on her lap. I wish I could get a good picture of it!

Emily (the other one) kept him entertained for a while. I'm not sure what she was doing, but he was laughing hysterically. I'm pretty sure she got him to laugh harder that I ever have. I think he was kinda slap happy from being so tired.

Josie has started doing this hilarious, cheesy grin in pictures. Apparently, it rubbed off on me as well. I think this is my favorite pic of Donny, haha. His face is priceless!

Aaaaaand we're done for the evening!

I wish I could eat that way every night!

TMI

I wrote this post a while ago but never posted it. I almost forgot about it. Sometimes when I post my opinions on things, I get nervous that I am going to come off sounding "judgy" or know-it-all-ish. I thought I would finally post this to add some perspective:

I love my children. Fiercely. I love them so much, I can almost never not think of them or be around them. When they sleep, I think of what I will do with them when they wake up. In fact, when I have time to be on the computer, I am often on "mommy blogs." When I go to the library, I check out parenting books. I go to various mom groups to talk to other moms about parenting tactics. (I need another hobby, right? Lol...)Why do I do this?
I love learning almost as much as I love my kids. I always have. Not just formal education, but when I don't know something, I feel compelled to find out. I am not ok with just following the cultural norm unless I know why it is that way and I agree with it. It gets a little obsessive sometimes. Ok, a lot of the time.

So naturally, when I became a parent, I had to know about everything parenting related. What was the right way? There is endless opinion and info about every topic. Facts both for and against. One study proves one thing, while another proves the opposite. Everything from discipline to birth, nutrition to sleep habits. Homeschool or public? Organic or processed? Breastfeeding or formula? Home or hospital birth? CIO or Co-sleeping? Attachment parenting or not? Spanking or time-outs or neither? Ferber, Ezzo, Sears? The list goes on.....

It's quite daunting as a new mom trying to decide how this all compares to YOUR child. Without meaning to, I started to form strong opinions on all these. Largely my own opinions, but often swayed by the research or whatever else I read. I devoured any info I could find. So many of these parenting styles are like joining the church. You join because YOU KNOW it's right. Then you look at other people and say, "Look what I know!! It's awesome! You need to join too!" Some hear what you say, agree and join in. Others say "No, thanks! My religion's just fine." The difference is, there is only one true church but when it comes to parenting, there are so many "gospels" up for interpretation.

As I have grown as a mother, my focus has changed regularly. I change my mind all the time. Different circumstances happen, or we move into a different stage and things I thought before become radically different. I assume that's all part of it, how we grow. I have attached onto certain parenting practices because they meshed with what I felt was right for my child at the time. Of course, like all children, my kids are unique and I don't believe one set of parenting ideals fits perfectly all the time. No book I have ever read or parenting style I have learned about will ever perfectly match what my child needs. I don't think it's meant to. We are all meant to adapt to the needs of our unique children.

Fortunately, there is a solution to all of this. The only real way to know what is best for your child is to ask Heavenly Father. We can pray for help and listen to our motherly intuition. He knows our children better than we do. He knows which tactics work best, even if it's something that is not the norm. His answer for one may not be an answer for another. And who's to say what one choses is not inspiration, even if it is the opposite of your inspiration?

I say all this mostly for myself. I need to not judge. I feel like I have made the decisions I have based on inspiration from prayer or maternal instinct. I'm sure other's are doing the same. And thank goodness, too cause I would be rotten at giving non-inspired direction for other people's kids. I can barely handle my own.

So if I have ever been or seemed "judge-y" I truly apologize. I sometimes become over-zealous in sharing my "gospel."

Sleep.

In my last post I mentioned something about people inquiring about Donny's sleep habits. It just got me thinking about it. I've always been pretty lax when it comes to sleep. I let Josie naturally start sleeping through the night when she was ready. I never really stressed about it even when she back tracked every couple months. Now at 2, overall she sleeps a wonderful, peaceful 12 hours. Sometimes even still, she will wake up and need me, maybe just for comfort. I am happy to be there for her. I'm glad that she knows I will always be there for her, night or day. I think she sleeps well knowing this.

Anyway, I think so far I am even more lax with Donny's sleep. I really don't count how many hours he sleeps per day and couldn't yet tell you his nap/nightime schedule. I think it still varies quite a bit.

I think when people ask about your childrens' sleep habits it's probably because they either don't know what else to ask or they are trying to sympathize with you. I don't usually get the feeling they are judging me or anything based on whether or not my kids are good sleepers. Heck, I've asked the same question to a new mom! That said, I do think we need to have a more realistic view of infant (and even toddler) sleep. I haven't shared an article in a while and I thought these were both great.


Everything You Know About Sleeping Through the Night Is Wrong
Posted by Christie Haskell on November 12, 2010 at 12:58 PM

One of the most common questions asked to a mom of an infant is, "Is she a good sleeper?" Often what they actually are asking is, "Does she sleep long periods of time?" as if a baby who wakes up more frequently has a problem.

Our culture is very egocentric, and it shows in our parenting, as a lot of guides and cultural conditioning suggest that success as a parent is the ability to have an uninterrupted night. However, not only does this set parents up for unnecessary stress, but it's not even biologically sound thinking.

If we only expected from our babies what they were naturally designed to do, we'd have a lot less sleep struggles.

For example, "sleeping through the night" is a phrase thrown around often, but do you know what it actually refers to? Five hours. That's it. Sleeping through the night means a five-hour stretch. Once. What is being determined isn't if you laid down after brushing your teeth and woke up to your alarm clock, but that your baby's body recognizes the difference between daytime sleep and nighttime sleep, and sleeps longer periods at night than they do in the day.

That's it.

While some babies will naturally begin sleeping longer periods of time at young ages, and will push off the need for food, that is the exception, not the rule.

Babies will sleep longer when they are biologically ready to do so. It is a developmental step like walking and talking, not something you can (or should) force, much like you can show your child the potty but expecting them to use it before their bladder is developed enough to hold urine is only setting up a battle that is impossible for either of you to win. In fact, when observed, it's discovered that even moms who swear their babies sleep through the night (by adult standards) are mistaken -- their baby still wakes up, they just don't know about it, and they didn't wake up any more or any less than babies whose mothers were aware of the nighttime awakenings.

One of my absolute favorite quotes about sleeping through the night:

"Probably one of the main reasons that night-waking babies are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. We are bombarded with magazine articles and books that perpetuate the myth that babies should not have nighttime needs. Babies were designed to wake up often at night to feed and cuddle -- keep in mind that many adults wake during the night, too. If our expectations for babies were not so different from our babies' expectations for themselves, much of this "problem" might disappear."

If a well-meaning family member or doctor tells you that your rocking or nursing to sleep needs to stop, consider that they don't live in your household. It is totally normal and acceptable for even a 1-year-old to wake up and need their parent to help them ease back to sleep. Normal! Our culture isn't supportive of that, though, but the reality is, our culture pretends that babies need to be sleeping, without intervention, for incredibly long periods of time, before they're actually ready to. And almost no one actually does it, especially without fights and crying, but they don't talk about it because they don't want to be seen as a lax parent.

Well people, take heart. As long as you promote healthy sleep patterns, everyone is well-rested, and you are respecting your baby's emotions and developmental abilities, how you put your baby to sleep and when they wake up really isn't an issue. It is absolutely okay to be nursing a 15-month-old during the night. It is okay to need to sing a little to a 9-month-old. Stop looking at books and people who tell you your baby must sleep, and look at your baby who tells you they're trying, but just need a little help from the person they love most, who comforts them best -- you.


Baby Boot Camp: Sleeping Through the Night
Posted by Sona Charaipotra on May 26, 2010 at 3:15 PM

When little Kavya was just about a month old, my husband and I fell prey to the idea that it was time to establish a bedtime routine. Boy do we feel silly now.

Strong-willed Kavi -- like many a newborn -- had her own ideas about when, where, and how she wanted to sleep. And her sleep pattern (or should I say lack thereof) changed from night to night.

When people would ask whether she was sleeping through the night, we'd reluctantly say no. And with other parents, it almost felt like a competition. But what could we possibly do to win?

We thought a bedtime routine would help baby Kavi fall asleep and stay asleep. Unlike a lot of newborns who reportedly slept a good six to eight hours by the time they were 4 weeks old -- yeah right! -- she didn't care to cooperate. She'd be up every one or two hours to eat, which one mom friend blamed on the fact that I was breastfeeding. "She's not staying full," she explained sagely, suggesting I give her formula at night. Bah!

Another suggested a warm, soothing bedtime bath. Which sort of made sense. Kavi seemed to love her bath, and we'd use that soothing Aveeno nighttime wash and sing songs. It seemed like such an idyllic bedtime setup. But instead of sleeping soundly after her bath, she'd wind up ever so slightly wired. Not what we were aiming for.

Then we thought maybe we needed to settle her down in a quieter environment. We live in a duplex, so in the beginning we had her downstairs until we were ready for bed. Instead, I tried nursing her upstairs and putting her down in the crib to sleep. But she'd wake up wailing about 10 minutes after I headed back downstairs. She didn't want to be left alone. I don't really blame her. So much for that idea.

Here's the thing. I slowly realized that since she was so little, she craved the coziness of nursing until she fell asleep. And sometimes that meant nursing three, four, five, six times a night. Some say that's a no-no, that it spoils your little one and sets up long-term expectations. But whatever. It helped my little one sleep. After all, she was just a newborn, in a big new world, and my husband and I were her only source of comfort and familiarity. Waking up alone would be a scary experience for anyone in that situation, no?

The more I read about it, the more I realized that as much as some new parents might talk up their super-sleeper newborns -- and perhaps they do exist, though not in my household -- Kavi was just a normal newborn, which meant that, yes, we'd be experiencing a few more weeks (or months) of sleepless nights. And that was okay.

Thankfully, now, at nearly 4 months old, she's starting to pull those legendary six- to eight-hour stretches. Yeah, we had to wait a few months, but looking back, I'm glad I got to spend those cuddly nighttime hours with my little one.

Oh, and I do like this article too:

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

3 Months old

Have you ever seen a sweeter face? This sweet little guy is already over 3 months old! It's really hard to compare Donovan to how Josie was as a baby. For one, I already can't remember too much about baby Josie, and also, I'm sure you see things differently the second time around. I think he is a pretty easy baby. He is at least really easy when he is with me, which is pretty much 24/7. He does seem to be a little more sensitive than Josie was. He gets startled easily and doesn't always like having others hold him. He really likes watching Josie, but if I'm not holding him and she gets too close, he freaks out. I don't blame him. He is definitely very attached to me and I can feel a strong bond between us. No one can make him smile as much as Kevin, though. There's no question about the bond between father and son. I am excited to see that grow. He definitely knows Kevin's voice, smell and touch. He looks around for him when he hears it. Donny does seem to really want me close by too (understandably) all the time. He is so content if he can just see, feel or hear me. Such a snuggler! I actually think he is held more than Josie was. She was held most of the time, of course, but I also used the swing and playmats and things like that too. Donny is pretty much in my arms or in the wrap whenever he is awake and I put him down as soon as he falls asleep. He is usually a quiet observer and you can tell he is taking it all in. He loves to be able to see the action, which is why I carry him a lot. Fortunately, Josie doesn't seem to mind and asks "Donny come too?" whenever we go anywhere.

One of the many great things about Donny is he is able to fall asleep fairly easily these days. He also has solved his problem of coming out of sleep easier. He can fall asleep in my arms or by himself if I'm tending to Josie and doesn't seem to care where he sleeps. He also never minds if I put him down as he is falling asleep and doesn't usually wake if I put him down. I guess he just feels content. He is a great nurser and, also like Josie, wants to eat often. Nursing on demand means it's probably about every hour or two while he's awake but he also takes long naps and goes several hours in between at night. I'm one of those that really could care less how often I nurse as long as it makes a happy, content baby. I actually quite enjoy it.

It seems like all anyone ever asks about is how he is sleeping at night. Really, it doesn't matter to me. Even if he slept horribly, it eventually passes and there are more important things to me. I feel like I get enough sleep so I don't really care how many times he wakes. On average, he wakes to nurse maybe twice or sometimes 3 times from the time he goes to bed (8 or 9ish) till morning (7 or 8ish) Twice in an 11 hour period I think is pretty darn good. When Kevin is gone and he sleeps next to me, he can go all night without waking. It also helps that I can sleep very well while I'm nursing. In fact, I can do just about anything while I'm nursing these days. I don't know how I would survive otherwise. He falls asleep before we do, so we put him in the pack n' play in our room to begin with. He is usually there until around 4 or 5 am when I usually pull him into bed with us to sleep in. I did that with Josie too. I love when they are little enough to do that. I'm sure I will miss it when he is in his own room, in his own crib/bed.

As far as development goes, he did turn over several times on a couple occasions, but they have been few and far between. I think he was about 11 weeks old? He has started swatting at things and smiles when he hits/grabs my face. He is a big talker and craves conversation. He coos way more than Josie did.

Also, I think he may be teething? I always think that's such a hard label to put on babies cause it's so ambiguous. They can teeth for like, a year, lol. He has been biting (only my thumb, which is his pacifier of choice) and super drooly. It could be nothing. Or he could have mouthful of teeth coming in. Guess we will see!!

I was looking through all our recent videos and found this one from the night Donovan was born. This was taken at around 7ish right before I updated my facebook to say we were leaving. It's so funny that Kevin said I was "in the early stages of labor." I was probably dilated to 5 or 6 at this point. Obviously filmed in between contractions. We left at 7:30ish and he was born at 8:46. Fun times. Oh, and she obviously new something was up. She was being really quiet that day.

Here he is minutes after his arrival. We filmed the whole birth, but since my blog is public, I'd rather not post it on here. It's actually quite modest and you can't see any nudity because of where the camera was placed but still, it's quite personal. So here is just a short snippet.

I have several videos of Donny laughing that I need to post sometime. Everyone knows that there is nothing cuter than a laughing baby! He gave us his first laugh sometime in the 2nd month. So adorable!

Geez, this kid has a cute face!! I can't get enough of it!

This bag is not a toy.

What outfit is complete without a gold medal, chopsticks and a produce bag?

BTW, crying ensued when I made her take it off to go to church. She did where the medal to nursery, though.

Halloween

This was Josie's first Halloween that she could really participate in. Last year, she was barely walking and didn't have a clue about any of it. We really had fun this year! She just HAD to be lion since it's her favorite animal and she is always roaring. Plus it would be nice and warm since it is really starting to get chilly here. I found this totally cute one at the consignment store and found Donny a tiger. I know, I know, one of us should have been a bear, haha. Anyway, the festivities started over a week ago with the annual "Zoo Boo" at our local zoo. I am part of a group called the "Friends of Goshen Birth Center" that helps promote the birth center and natural birth practices. They had a booth at the zoo boo, so I volunteered to hand out candy. It was awesome cause we all got in free and Josie had a great time trick or treating for the first time. I wore Donny in the wrap while Kevin took Josie around to get candy. She also loved feeding the fish in the river since they weren't any other animals out.

I am on the activities committee at church right now and helped with our Halloween carnival/party. It was also lots of fun and Josie got to "trunk or treat" after in the parking lot.

Here's our lil' tiger:

Kev and I are really bad about finding costumes. We just threw on some old chinese outfits we had. Is it politically correct to dress up as another culture/race? Not sure. Anyway, it actually fits me better right now. It was too big before!

Our lioness deciding where to go.

It was pretty much one sucker after another. There was always one in her mouth the entire evening. I don't think she even really ate dinner, haha.

I had to stay after to help clean up. Josie was fine with it cause she found a hula hoop........


..........and a BALL!!! Her favorite! Just look at that joy : )

All tuckered out.

So our neighbors kept telling us that our neighborhood gets a crazy number of trick or treaters each year and they all just sit out on the porch and pass out candy. We were excited for that since the last 2 years we had almost none. They were right!! 5:00-7:00 was the designated trick or treating time for our city and right at 5 they started flowing in. Bus loads of them! I guess our neighborhood gives out good candy! (Actually, I here it's that ours seems safer to parents) We ended up running out of candy by about 6:30, but it was dying down by then anyway. We also gave out pass-along cards with the candy (cause you know, we are those crazy religious people on the corner) and Kevin played spooky songs on the guitar on the porch. We took turns taking Josie around the neighborhood. It's mostly retirees and older people, so they were all looking forward to seeing Josie in her costume. Donny slept through the entire thing, so he kinda missed out. It's ok though, cause it was a little cold.

Showing me her goods.

I'm totally bummed Donny didn't make it into this pic. He was still fast asleep.

Josie had to pay her parents a pretty heavy candy tax. We did leave some good ones for her, though. We're not THAT mean : )