Josie at 3 1/2

I keep waiting to post about the kids till I have awesome pics and the perfectly written write-up. They are just so awesome I want to do it justice. But, since this blog is going to feature a new baby soon, I better just post something!

So, a little about our Josephine:

Josie is just sweet. She doesn't have a sassy bone in her body and I'm really glad. She gets frustrated and upset like every kid, but she is overall very, very sweet. She has tender feelings and doesn't like any kind of suffering or sadness. She is always concerned about anyone sad that she sees and even if she causes the sadness (aka bugging Donny) she wants to fix it asap. She is always negotiating with him to keep him from crying while still getting what she wants. Josie is such a good kid! Kevin and I go to bed regretting anytime we get impatient with her cause she totally doesn't deserve it. She really tries to be good all the time. She is usually surprisingly rational, even when she's throwing a tantrum. If she gets out of control, I typically suggest that she go lay down for a minute till she feels better. She does and will cry for a minute, come back in and tell me, "Mom, I'm alright now. I won't cry or whine anymore. I'll just be good." I think she knows this will melt our hearts every time and she will get what she wants. She is a rule follower. I know if I set a rule, she will follow it and remind everyone else of the rule. The problem I have is when there is something that doesn't have a rule. Then sometimes she has a problem being flexible and obedient.

She has become (well, pressured into being) lightyears more independent. I sort of decided that if I was going to handle 3 young children, the older ones would have to learn how to be much more independent. This, coupled with me being super tired and lazy, meant she had to learn how to do a lot of things herself. She can make her own breakfast, get dressed, go potty and occupy herself in the morning if she gets up before mommy is ready to be awake. (The rule is that if Donny is still sleeping, mommy is still sleeping. She knows she can go downstairs quietly until we come down.) At the park, Josie has started finding friends instead of wanting me to do everything with her and she has learned how to problem solve when she is stuck on something. Seriously, I really see how sometimes kids do better and learn more when parents step back a little. At home, Josie and Donny have really learned how to play well with each other and they spend a lot of time occupying each other. It's really out of necessity for them since I know they would rather play with Mommy. Though I do spend time reading, playing, and having fun with them everyday, I came to the realization that my job as a mom isn't to entertain 24 hours a day and sometimes boredom is ok cause it leads to creativity (or a mess!) So, they have started playing with each other more and more and have become best friends.  I feel much more confident that they will do ok with a new baby around since they have each other and see that mommy has responsibilities. When we are out, she is super social as well. She refers to everyone as "friends." For example, I'll comment on how many people are at the park and she will correct me by saying that there are lots of friends. I love this about her. She is quick to ask other kids' names and try to establish a friendship. She is eager to please them and plays well. It breaks my heart when other kids are snotty to her or pick on her. I'm going to have a hard time with that in the future, I know.....

She is still a major organizer and sorter. She has inherited many of my type A tendencies. At the store, she like to organize the produce if it's not stacked right or line things up if she's bored. She's pretty good at cleaning up, too. This means "busy work" like stringing beads, sorting small items, or certain crafts will keep her occupied for quite a while. We started bringing string and beads to church and she will spend the entire first hour making necklaces.

She is a snacker. She is always hungry or at least says she is. I don't think she has ever refused food. Gotta say, hearing "I'm huuuuuuungry!!!" 100 times a day gets really annoying after a while so I have had to limit the snacking to certain times of day. She is a good eater though, and never has a problem eating her vegetables. : )

She is fairly tall for her age and is getting skinnier as she gets older. She is deceptively skinny cause she has kept her chubby cheeks and arms, but her torso is long and slender. She is too tall for most 3T and even some 4T clothes, but they fit her in width.

She can count to 20 and then it gets a little sketchy up to 30. She knows all upper and lowercase letters and numbers 1-10 visually. I'm not really interested in working on reading with her just yet, but when she becomes interested, I'm sure she'll do great. I haven't done preschool with her, but I'm really thinking she would love to participate in something outside the home. We are going to sign her up for tumbling for the summer. She really likes class settings and is good at listening to a teacher. She LOVES primary and can give me details about what the lesson was about in class and in sharing time. She definitely pays attention.

She loves books and listening to stories. We tell stories to her every night before bed. Often, she requests a "story" about how her day went. We then discuss everything that happened that day and how she felt about it. I guess it's her way of processing life. I love that time.

She still naps for 1-2 hours a day. This is definitely gotten me through this pregnancy. Had it been left up to her, she would have stopped napping at around 2 1/2 like a lot of kids. At that age, she still really needed them so I forced her anyway. I literally sat outside her door, made sure she was laying down and not playing until she'd fall asleep. I was not ok with "quiet time" since she still really needed that extra sleep during the day. There was a lot of opposition from her, but the battle was worth it. She never fights it anymore and it's just part of the routine. She knows it's not an option, so she goes right down for naptime these days.  She and Donny nap at the same time and I get a pretty consistent 2+ hour break during the day to sleep or get things done. Again, toooootally worth the battle! I think finally at 3 1/2 she could probably go either way. If I could get her to sleep longer at night, she could probably drop her nap. As it is, she gets about 10 hours or so at night and a couple during the day. Some nights she as a harder time falling asleep and is still talking and singing to herself after 9 (bedtime is 8) but again, it's totally worth it for me.

The other funny thing about her with sleep is she STILL has never come out of her room or even her bed without permission. At naptime and in the morning, she will always call for me to come get her out of her bed and she has never come out at night or during her nap. I finally told her that she can just come out of her room when she wakes up but she has ignored this advice. I'm not sure if she's scared or what? I guess in the end it's a blessing since I never have to worry about her wandering the house at night or something. As a side note, Donny has never tried to climb out of his crib (Josie never did, either) and I think he just knows that it's wrong. I wonder what my kids think will happen to them if they get out of bed without permission, lol?

She has graduated from being in the cart at the store to walking and helping. She was very excited about this decision. Every time we go into a store and I tell her she can walk she reassures me saying, "Mom, I WONT run away! I will just stay with you and help, ok?" Love her.

My one battle with Josie has been her wardrobe and her severe "princess" obsession. I know, I know. It's totally normal at this age, but seriously somedays it gets really out of hand and I have a hard time knowing where to draw the line. She is SUPER picky about what she wants to wear and when. Usually, I really don't care and other than a couple regulations, she can wear whatever. Even if it's totally not appropriate dress, it makes her so happy and puts her in such a good mood I don't care. Then, other times, I really need her to wear something appropriate and it turns into a dramatic tantrum. I know she'll grow out of it, so for now, I'll just try to roll with it.

She definitely has the personality of the oldest child and we are so thankful to have her as a leader for her sibling(s). Our Josie is so special and I am eternally grateful to be her mom : )

39 Weeks and some info.......

Kevin celebrated his 39th birthday on the 21st! We celebrated by spending the evening in Chicago (slightly risky, I know) going to the Beach Boys 50th Anniversary concert at the Chicago Theatre. The Beach Boys haven't been together in decades, so this reunion was kind of a big deal. Of course, they are some of Kev's endorsers so we got great seats and VIP passes.

Onstage at the Chicago Theatre. This is basically the worst photo angle, by the way.

We started the evening by going to an amazing (and very expensive) brazilian churrasco restaurant called Texas de Brazil. There was an entire wall of wine and a "wine angel" that would perform acrobatics all over the wall. It was way cool and the food made me wish I had 2 stomachs or at least one that wasn't crowded by a baby.

The Chicago Theatre is amazingly cool. Extremely ornate and definitely rivals the Chicago Lyric Opera as far as beauty.

Beach Boys! The concert was great and they played everything!

Backstage with the drummers. Do you love how Kev can't resist showcasing my belly, lol?

So about the whole birth thing........

A week or so ago, as I was meeting with a doula, Liz, she offered me a book to read. (She is actually a doula-in-training from our stake and is going to attend the birth as part of her certification. I never planned on having a doula, but hey, it's free help!) I had heard of this book and I was SO excited she had it!! I wish I could have started reading it sooner. It's called The Gift of Giving Life. It's an LDS book about the divine nature of pregnancy and birth. LOVE this book so far!! It has stories, essays, thoughts on every kind of birth and pregnancy and really focuses on our ability to seek divine inspiration during this important time. It deals with every subject from miscarriage to adoption to Heavenly Mother to postpartum issues. They have several excerpts if you are interested. It's such a great, inspiring book to read if you are an LDS pregnant woman. One of the essays really described how I have felt this pregnancy. It's called Counsel with the Lord and is included in the excerpts. In a nutshell, this essay describes exactly how and why we chose this plan for our third baby. The last part reads:  "Perhaps the Lord will instruct you to cross your own “Red Sea” as you navigate your pregnancy and birth journey.  This could mean following a seemingly illogical prompting to seek emergency medical attention when your gut tells you something is wrong with your baby.  This could mean choosing to give birth without pain medication when all of your friends and family say it’s impossible. Or your “Red Sea” could be a planned elective cesarean prompted by revelation. The right path isn’t always the logical path, or the easy path, or the path we had envisioned, but God’s guidance will always be in our best interest." There you go. Personal decision, personal revelation. I hope it's that way for every woman, whatever they choose.....


Now for some details:

 In considering our options this time around, the birth center was definitely top of our list. The major downside and eventual deal breaker was the distance. It is about 40 mins away. Driving that far in labor and to prenatal visits was just too much for me. Last time, most of my labor was spent in the car just getting there. I don't want to repeat that. Then, I learned that one of the midwives that delivers there, also delivers at home. She and a back-up midwife have their own practice. Here in Indiana, we have lots and lots of Amish. The Amish generally don't do hospital births unless they are high risk. Since they don't use government assistance or insurance, not many can afford a $10,000 hospital bill every couple years. Because of this, local birth centers and home birth midwives (even CPMs, which are illegal in Indiana) are really a life saver. Otherwise, many might give birth at home anyway but without a skilled attendant. About 90% of my midwife's clients are Amish. Because she is a CNM (certified nurse-midwife), she can legally deliver babies in the hospital, at a birth center, or at home. We are very lucky since most CNM's deliver only in hospitals and it's fairly rare to find one that delivers at home. She began as a labor & delivery nurse at one of the local hospitals. Then, after getting her midwifery degree, she delivered babies as a midwife at the hospital where Josie was born. She did hospital deliveries for a while before starting her own home birth/ birth center practice. She currently delivers at 2 different birth centers and to homes in several counties. She is very highly trained and has delivered hundreds and hundreds of babies with very good safety statistics. She can order the same tests, prescriptions, prenatal care as you would have with an OB. She has offered me the same screens and tests every pregnant woman is offered and at my appointments, all the same stuff is checked (urine, blood pressure, heartbeat, etc.) The MAJOR difference is the personal care and the fact that it is done in the comfort of my home while my kids nap. Greatest. thing. ever!!!! She typically spends an hour at my home where we discuss any questions, concerns, tests, etc. I remember with the OB group I had with Josie, I would spend 15 mins in the waiting room, give a urine sample, wait 5 mins for a random nurse to come in and do all the regular checks, wait another 10 mins for the doctor, and spend maybe 10 mins with him before he rushed out to another patient. It wasn't terrible, just not personal or thorough at all and in appointments as well as in the hospital, most of the time was spent with the nurse, anyway. I know that NONE of the 5 doctors I saw ever remembered my name. Plus, none of them even delivered my baby! A random doctor (who I ended up liking ok) delivered Josie cause none of the ones in my group were available.

Anyway, in labor, she brings standard emergency equipment as well as anything extra I might need. This includes, IV's for fluids and antibiotics, pitocin for hemorrhaging, oxygen and resuscitation equipment, and anything needed for stitches, etc. I explain all this because most people I talk to assume a midwife just brings a few herbs and soft music and hopes for the best. CNM's are legitimate medical professionals. A good midwife has strong medical training and knows when to step in or back off during labor.  When something is out of their range of care, they should be able to handle a seamless transfer to a hospital if needed. I might also add that the cost of this baby is going to be ridiculously low. Not only does she have a very affordable global fee, she is covered by our insurance!!! Seriously, I don't know why more people don't consider midwives in the hospital cause they are almost always way cheaper. Since we have no other fees (hospital, anesthesia, etc.) other than a few birth supplies, this baby will cost next to nothing. Love it.

Since the safety of birth outside the hospital is often the big question, here's some info on that. It's just from Wikipedia. Whatever, I'm lazy : )

As far as other logistics, we do have a "birth tub" in case we want to use it. I probably will at least use it for labor and may deliver in it as well. We have someone coming to watch the kids and either take them somewhere or be on stand-by if they are sleeping. We aren't planning on having them there unless they are asleep. That would just be too distracting for me.
The other question people often have is about clean-up. It's funny cause I don't remember either of my other births being messy at all. In fact, I am not exaggerating when I say I never saw one drop of blood when I had Donny.  The midwives are very good about fast clean-up and mine will have 2 assistants as well. It is their job to leave your house as clean as when the came. They wash and launder everything and do everything you would expect at the hospital, really.

K, this post is super long now. Sorry about that, especially since I am probably just talking to myself. Does anyone even read this anymore? Oh well. It's nice to get my thoughts out, anyway : )

The Belly- 36 Weeks

36 Weeks with Donny:

36 Weeks with Baby #3:

Whenever I'm in public, I get lots and lots of comments about my belly. Despite what it looks like, this baby actually measures a bit smaller than average (well, based on ultrasound which we know can be deceiving) and will likely be around 6.5-7.5 pounds like my other two. Most people guess 8 or 9 pounds. Sorry, don't think I make them that big! I guess you never know : ) I carry very, very low. I guess its just how I'm built. I've never felt a baby in my ribs. In fact, most of the time, the baby's butt and feet are just a bit higher than my belly button. I have plenty of room on top, but the baby is sitting pretty snug on my cervix and bladder.

Some of the comments I have gotten:

Woman:  Is this numbers 3 and 4?
Me: No, it's just one.
Woman: Wow! That is one big baby!!
Me: Um, thanks?

Man: Dude, your belly looks like a torpedo!

Woman: Oh, honey. It must be a boy!! I can just tell these things.
Me: Oh, maybe. (Not wanting to break it to her that I carry the same with all 3 of my pregnancies)

For the last several weeks I've been getting a lot of comments about my belly "dropping" and suggestions that it "must be about time!" I usually politely tell them that I just carry low and that I still have several weeks left. Seriously, at 35 weeks I had people telling me they thought I would be delivering tomorrow. I wonder what comments I will get at 40 weeks??

Also, I am feeling much less anxious and stressed the last couple days. I think it's because things are finally getting done and I don't have such a long to-do list. I was feeling so unprepared. Now, I feel like after this week, I will be ready to have a baby! Well, at least the house and baby preparations will be done. I mean, are you ever REALLY ready to add a new baby to the mix?

P.S. I really, really, really want to do an update on the kids. Josie is now 3 1/2 and and Donny is closing in on 2. There is so much to write about these two!! Hope I can get it done!

36 Weeks- Baby #3

*Belly picture coming soon! Right now I don't have anyone here older than 3 to take it : )              

                I have to be honest. I really don't feel like blogging right now. But alas, I know I'll be happy I did so I am forcing myself. For whatever reason, lately I just feel like stepping back from everything and kind of "going offline" so to speak. This pregnancy has been so taxing on me emotionally. Part of it, I'm sure, just comes with being pregnant for the 3rd time in 4 years. Some of it comes from stressing about all the ultrasounds, tests, etc. that we've had to do. It also doesn't help that Kevin has been gone SO much lately. He has been gone at least a few days every week the last month or so. The rest of it I'm totally puzzled by. I sometimes have this sense of dread or fear about having this baby. I've prayed a lot about it. I thought maybe it was a warning that we needed to change our plans or that the baby was having issues. So, I started looking into changing our plan and then prayed about it. As I did this, it didn't feel right and I felt even worse. I'm still not sure what to think. I feel like I've been given confirmation that we are doing the right thing and that everything will be fine and yet, I still have this weird fear. Is it hormones? Lack of faith? Others opinions getting to me? I don't know. I tend to think it's others opinions. I like to think that it doesn't matter to me, but it does. So, maybe it's just me feeling self conscious. All I know is Kevin doesn't feel it, fortunately, and he has kept me positive. What an awesome man I have.
                  36 weeks is when it really starts to feel real to me that a new baby is joining our family soon. The final nesting really starts to set in and I get anxious to get everything prepared and finished. My body is totally kicking into get-this-baby-out mode. I have had crazy strong BH contractions this whole last trimester. If I were a first time mom, I would have thought I was in labor several times already. I tend to have regular, medium strength contractions in the evening that stick around for a couple hours or so and dissipate. This last week, they have really started getting stronger. Strong enough that walking is quite uncomfortable sometimes if I'm having one. They aren't in any real pattern or anything and I know it's just practice, so I haven't been concerned. I think it's just a 3rd pregnancy thing cause I know mom's tend to feel BH more with each pregnancy. With Josie I hardly felt them at all and with Donny I only really felt them a lot at the very end. This pregnancy I can't ignore them. So far, I've gained about 38-39 pounds. I actually gained 40 and lost a pound this week. Near the end of pregnancy I start to lose my appetite a little. I lost weight at the very end with Donny too. Things are just so cramped in there I don't feel like eating as much. I figure after gaining 40 pounds, I have plenty of reserve for baby : )
                 Anyway, lets get onto the important stuff. I finally had my ultrasound this week. I really had decided that I didn't care what the outcome was, I just wanted closure. I wanted to be able to make plans. If the placenta hadn't moved or hadn't moved enough, I really felt just fine about switching care givers and planning for a hospital birth, possibly with lots of intervention. I figured we were close enough to delivery, whatever the outcome of the ultrasound, we were going to stick with it. First, we checked all the regular stuff. Baby is head down and very low. Everything looked great. The single artery chord was checked again and there are still no problems seen with it. The big question was where the placenta was. The baby's head was actually so low, I had to lift my belly up, therefore lifting it's head off my cervix for her to even measure the distance of the placenta to the cervix. Marginal placenta previa and the risks associated with it are defined as placentas within 0-2 cm from the cervical opening. So far, my placenta is 3 cm away with time to spare! It still can move even further away, depending on how much longer I go. This is awesome. Every study I read on it, (and I read just about every study) said that there is no increased risk when the placenta is past 2 cm. I was waiting to get too excited about it until after the physician looked it over and gave us the report. He said that everything looked just fine and that we should have no problems with it. He noted that it was no longer considered a previa and should be treated as normal. In discussing everything with my midwife, we have decided that with these findings we feel comfortable planning a home birth with the knowledge that we have a hospital within minutes of us. To be on the ultra safe side, I agreed to receiving a shot of pitocin immediately after the baby is delivered. Pitocin stimulates contractions in the uterus. After labor, it is sometimes given in a shot (not IV) to help prevent any heavy bleeding. Because it's just a quick shot and it would calm any of our fears of me bleeding more than normal, we decided it would be a good idea. Like my other 2 pregnancies, I came up positive for Strep B. Ugh. No big deal, though. I'll just have to be hooked to and IV for a short time while we do the antibiotics and then I can take it out. It sure would have been nice to have avoided that : (
                   This whole thing has made me think about the great blessing and sometimes curse of all this technology. Ultrasounds have the potential to save many lives through the info they provide. They also have the potential to create a lot of undue stress and sometimes inaccurate info. I can't tell you how many times I've heard of someone being told they were having a 9 or 10 pound baby based on ultrasound only to have a normal 7 pound baby. On one hand, I'm glad we have all this info, especially if a problem presented so we would know how to handle it. On the other hand, now that everything has resolved, I really could have done without all the stress! After all, if we had our FIRST ultrasound this last week, the term placenta previa and all its potentially deadly risks would have never even been mentioned. My midwife said that she is actually really glad we know all this and had all the ultrasounds so she knows what she's dealing with. So, I guess it really is a good thing.
Well, I guess that's it for now! I am planning on writing a "home birth" post, mostly just giving details and more on why we chose that plan.  I'm really don't feel like I'm a home birth, natural birth nazi, so I promise it won't be annoying : ) That said, anyone have questions about it? Anyone? Home birth in this area is a little more common and accepted, but I realize a lot of people are totally unfamiliar with the idea. So, if you have a question, I can answer it in my next post.